I’ve been reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin off and on since January. It’s an account of her year long project to be happier. Although she wasn’t battling depression and wasn’t necessarily unhappy, she wanted to appreciate her life more. So, she tackled happiness like a project. The Project Manager in me smiles at all her research and the monthly tasks. If I was going to start a happiness project, I would probably go about it the same way as Gretchen.
Happiness Project: Finding time for Fun
Each chapter tackles a different facet of happiness: marriage, having more energy, friends, etc. The chapter I’m reading now deals with making more time for play. It got me thinking about how much time I fit into my schedule for fun. Like most working moms, it’s probably not enough.
Gretchen writes “research shows that having fun is key factor in having a happy life; people who have fun are twenty times more likely to feel happy.” (chapter 5 p.113) So, what does that mean? Her definition of a “fun” activity is one she looks forward to doing, that leaves her feeling energized not drained and doesn’t make her feel guilty. Play is something you do for your own enjoyment, not for any monetary gain or expectation of recognition or praise. Seems easy enough.
Observation 1: What do I do for fun?
That got me wondering what I do for fun. It sounds ridiculous. Of course, I do things for fun. Right? Like most working moms, when I’m not working, I’m either driving kids around or checking items off my to-do list. Not that making dinner and doing laundry isn’t a knee slapping good time, but surely there must be something else that I do for fun…
I honestly had a hard time coming up with a list of things that fit her criteria. What came to mind instantly was reading. My fun, the thing I do for my own enjoyment alone, is curling up with a book. When I sneak away to have time to myself, I’m usually reading or doing yoga. However, when I do these things, I often feel guilty because I’m not doing something more productive. It’s really easy to re-prioritize our own happiness below that of the people we love, which is silly because happiness is contagious. The happier we are, the happier the people around us are. It’s not selfish to make time for things we enjoy. It’s necessary.
Observation 2: What’s fun for other people isn’t necessarily fun for me.
One of Gretchen’s observations was that what’s fun for other people doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s fun for her. There was a list of things that she felt she should enjoy, but didn’t and she needed to let those things go. This is so true. I think we all have things we feel we should enjoy, but don’t. Here’s my list of things that I feel like I should enjoy, but don’t:
- Fancy trendy restaurants. I love to think of myself as a foodie and I do love food, but I’m not a foodie. Although I want to be able to tell people that my favorite type of food is something like Mediterranean Fusion or something similar that sounds cool, it’s not. I don’t think I even know what that is. I’m a jeans and t-shirt girl. If I’m being honest, my favorite food is bar food. In a restaurant, there is really nothing that makes me happier than something gooey and completely unhealthy. Trendy restaurants often just stress me out, but I always feel like I need to go. FOMO maybe?
- Watching the Wizard of Oz. People love this movie. I do not. When I was a kid, I was terrified of the flying monkeys. As an adult, I still don’t like it. I do, however, like the Wicked book series. Odd, right?
- Swimming. I really wish I liked swimming, but I don’t. The day my kids were old enough to go into a pool by themselves was a happy one. Swimming with kids is basically standing in cold water getting splashed in the face. Now that they are older, I love sitting next to the pool watching them swim, but I don’t ever feel the need to get in the water. Ditto for hot tubs.
What’s on your list of things you don’t enjoy but feel like you should? Drop me a comment and let me know.
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin has gotten me thinking about happiness and how I can consciously try to build happiness in my daily life. This chapter in particular made me realize that I need to step away from my to-do list and have a little more fun. I need to look for those little moments during the day to be a little silly and laugh and just be present.
Have you read this book? I’d love to know what you thought about it. Drop me a comment and tell me about it.
Want to incorporate some gratitude into your daily life? Try my Beauty and Gratitude photo challenge.
